Please don’t get me wrong, I am not judging how the kids these days behave. This article will merely point out the things we do, in my opinion as a parent and as a teacher, that may hinder the way our children grow up the way we want them to. This will not try to compare one generation to the other in terms of which is better and will not indict “bad” parents and extol “good” ones.

Having said that, let me just write down my thoughts and those of some other adults I know when the topic “Kids these days” come up.

Kids these days need to look up and look around more. You don’t need statistics or testimonials to know that most of today’s young people have their heads down on the glaring and moving graphics of their electronic gadgets. Sometimes it makes us wonder if they know what is going on around them at all.

Kids these days are easily bored. Whether waiting for their turn at the doctor’s clinic, waiting for the food orders to arrive or waiting for the school service to come pick them up, they are bored. Parents see to it that they manage their time wisely by providing them with things that will entertain them: electronic gadgets.

Kids these days rely heavily and put emphasis on fast: Fast food and fast internet connection among others. Delayed gratification is something they need to learn because the truth is the truly good things in life are earned the long and hard way, with much patience and perseverance.

Kids these days are emotionally involved because of the technological advances including how fast and how graphically the news are delivered. Should children know in detail things that are happening elsewhere whereas they know nothing about what is happening in their own immediate environment? Should they be exposed to the violence happening around the world without understanding the impact of these things in their lives? Should we allow our children to read and watch things beyond their understanding?

Kids these days should learn how to form, think of and write their own opinions and not rely on what they read online. Everything is available in the internet. At the click of a button or a tap of a finger, they are able to copy and paste research work painstakingly done by others without reading and understanding the contents, oftentimes without acknowledging the author. There are a lot of cases too where they just copy and paste unverified work without checking other sources.

Kids these days want to work with computers. Nothing wrong with setting the mind to work using computers in the future. The question is, are there children who would want to work in the agricultural and fisheries sector, the human aspects of running a business, the face-to-face management or utilization of the hands and creativity in work-related tasks?

Kids these days feel empowered because they know they can get what they want easily. Parents feel they have to give the best to their children, beyond what they need. They do not want to see their children having less than their peers, as though this would make their children mediocre or deprived.

Kids these days feel entitled, that is, that that the world owes them what they want and when they want it. This sense of entitlement can prove to be a fatal disappointment when things don’t go the way the children expect. At this point, even when the children have grown to be adults, they will be having difficulties dealing with rejection, being denied the things they want to have and do because of the realization that they need to work hard and wait for the results.

Kids these days feel that they can handle all the challenges thrown at them because Mom and/or Dad are there for them at all times. We cannot always “clear the path” and face the adversities for the children to merrily make their way to their goals (which more often the parents have set and not the children themselves).

Kids these days are so dependent on the yaya to do simple tasks for them like getting them a drink of water, carrying their lunch boxes or even getting their clothes from the cabinet.

Parents should think about the long-term effects of their parenting style. Parents should guide the children to make their own decisions and choose what steps they should take to realize their dreams. Remember that you parents can’t be with them 24/7. There are a lot of life lessons and life-changing decisions that children have to make on their own in due time but if they know what to do and have been guided properly, then there is not much to fear. Parents should not be in competition with other parents or families because all children are unique in their own way.

How should we deal with the kids then?

READ MORE HERE.

Moms should find time for a “ME” time. Specific instruction on “ME” time and not “MOM” time.

This is not being selfish and all, wanting to spend time with one’s self, without the children, without thoughts of unfinished house work (well, there better be no house work to think about as these should all be done the soonest possible time) and just being a “ME” and not a “MOM”.

What were you before you became a mom? What activities did you enjoy most? What hobbies did you cultivate before being a mom? What activities do you like to engage in with your “ME” time?

• Do you like to read?
• Do you like to dance?
• What about learning a musical instrument or a foreign language?
• Do you like to further enhance your singing voice?
• Do you like to get fit and join a group of people wanting to become fit?
• Do you like to get a graduate degree course?
• What about gardening? cooking? sewing? crafting? driving?
• Or do you just want to have an hour or just half of it to take it slow and have a refreshing nap?
• Perhaps you just want to enjoy a bar of your favorite chocolate all by yourself?

Whatever it is you want, like or need to do for yourself, find time for it and do it. Fix your schedule so that you are able to manage your time and resources. If it is not possible to leave the house because there would be no one to mind the children, then you can do virtual lessons in cooking, sewing, crafting, fitness exercises and even learning a musical instrument. The possibilities are endless as long as you are willing to plan ahead.

And please, do not feel guilty about spending “ME” time because you deserve this after all the hard work you put in the care of your children and your household.

Personally, “ME” time is not to be spent a few hours away from the children and the household every day, doing things and spending time with people who do not contribute to your own personal growth.

What is it then?

It could be…

• once-a-week salon pampering,
• lunch with friends,
• coffee time with college buddies you haven’t seen for a few months,
• a movie with your BFF,
• a once a week formal lessons in cooking, crafting, sewing, dancing, and gym time,
• early morning/evening walk in the neighborhood,
• reading one book per week
• enjoying a slice of your favorite chocolate cake. Alone.

When your children see that you are happy, that you love yourself as much as you love them, that you don’t stop learning new things, then you inspire them to do better because they have you as their role model. Isn’t that what we would like for our children?

Here Comes the Sun is the daughter’s guitar piece yesterday for the Music Third Trimester test.

It really is a wonder how technology has helped hone raw talents even without having formal lessons with a teacher. My youngest daughter’s fascination with guitar playing has come a long way from just mere strumming to plucking.

We all trooped to Quirino Grandstand and Luneta last Sunday to participate in the 2014 Shell Eco-Marathon happening in Manila. Read the HIGHLIGHTS of the 2014 Shell Eco-Marathon Asia here. Our main purpose is to see the cars running in the race tracks. There were nine entries from the different Philippine universities including the eldest daughter’s uni. The team got fifth place overall in their category while two other universities did good too, in another category.

Security was tight, and we didn’t mind. There were designated entrances and exits and foot traffic was good. Visitors will be able to see the races before they enter the main venue where different activities for visitors await them. The foot bridges constructed where visitors will get access to and from the main venue had barriers to keep visitors from being directly above the running cars.

We first went to the venue where the mini Shell Eco-Marathon cars are being assembled. Every visitor gets one. It is your choice to assemble your car kit or not, such as it is your choice to enter in the race or not. We got five race car kits and assembled three.

We raced two mini SEM cars and the youngest daughter won her race, besting nine other cars. The best thing aside from assembling your mini SEM cars? These run on saltwater “fuel”. Cool huh?

We also went to the Energy Lab where the visitors can take part in the different activities and learn about energy.

My kids loved the activities there.

How to Unspoil Your Spoiled Brat Divalette/Devilette part 1 was shared here. For the full article, please READ HERE.

Now for part two, I raised a few suggestions that might help parents out there, when they are faced with daunting situations that will surely sap the energy out of them if they will not curb the cues that their child has been exhibiting to be called a “spoiled brat” or divalette.

1. Be firm.
2. Avoid empty threats with clear and short instructions.
3. Be consistent.
4. Avoid overprotecting your child by rushing in to “rescue” them.
5. Avoid overindulging in material things. How many dolls can your little girl play with her two hands? How many gadgets can a little boy handle at the same time?
6. Stay on track despite being saddled with responsibilities that make you want to say yes because you are just tired.
7. Spend time and not money on your children.

Can you answer these questions regarding the way you bring up your child?

1. Do you buy your child something every time you go to stores?

2. Do you allow your child to run around in places they are not supposed to roam, like churches, restaurants, supermarkets and doctor’s clinics?

3. Do you allow your child to throw temper tantrums in public places?

4. Do you allow your child to hit and disrespect you (and others as well)?

5. Do you give your child what she wants just so she will stop crying?

READ MORE HERE.

I once had a student who proudly declared that he is “spoiled”. By that he means that he gets his own way, gets what he wants and when he wants it. I calmly handed him a dictionary and asked him to look up the word “spoil” in it. One of the definitions stated that spoil means “to decay or lose freshness especially because of being kept too long” and he asked me what that meant. I explained to him that that definition means that like overripe fruit, a spoiled child stinks and/or can’t be of use anymore. I asked him if he is spoiled like that, “bulok” or rotten. He was shocked and said he doesn’t want to be that, “spoiled rotten”.

More often than not, parents (and grandparents too) relish the branding of their child(ren) as spoiled. “Hay naku, sobrang spoiled ang batang yan” is said with a proud smile.

Perhaps the statement somehow reassures them that they can afford to give their little ones the best that their money can buy: a roomful of toys, a play house in the backyard with two or three rechargeable cars parked near it, or a closet full of branded clothes worn only a few times or not at all because there are just so many clothes in there.

If you are so inclined to get your child the best, there is no problem with that. BUT if you give your child things she doesn’t really need, without regard for delayed gratification and cost which, most of the time you honestly can’t really afford, then there is something that seems to be a problem or would be in the years to come, as the child is growing up. Getting your child the latest or the newest building blocks box or the newest edition of her favorite toy character is not something we tend to think over getting because the child wants it NOW but if we stop and think for a while and ask yourself if the child truly needs it, would you still get it?

Perhaps it makes them feel better that they are able to provide for the child’s needs which are actually “wants” and believe me, that big doll the little girl spent five minutes crying for you to buy would be forgotten soon because next week, she will have her eye on a new toy.

Perhaps it takes off the guilt in not having the time to spend with the child because mom or dad or both are busy earning money to buy these things for the little princess/diva/divalette/emperor/prince child.

Perhaps it is so much easier, to over-indulge and to give in to the tears, the tantrums, the rolling-on-the-floor and the pouts than to explain why you are saying “No” to a child’s excessive demands.

Is it possible to unspoil a spoiled brat? It is, but this will depend on the determination of the parents to do so, amidst the mother of all tantrums that the child is expected to throw every time she realizes and knows that she can’t get her way this time.

These are a few behavioral patterns that over-indulged and “entitled” children exhibit plus some suggestions on how to deal with these situations:

Read the rest of the article here:

How to unspoil your ‘divalette’/’devilette’